This is one question I try not to ask. This and “Did you have a good break?” When dealing with many students from differing backgrounds, it’s easy to forget that not everyone has a ‘good break’. It’s a natural question for many of us to ask. We come back not really ready to be back. I mean, we all love to sleep in and get things done around the house or hang with family/friends or go on trips. But for many students coming back to school is a welcome break from their home lives. And for that reason, I no longer ask students these questions.
I write this because I was reminded over my break that not all our students have ideal home lives. Some are dealing with the threat of a parent being deported or being evicted from their homes. Others are visiting a parent in jail over the holidays. Some don’t have money for presents. And yet others have had to deal with trauma and situations we can’t imagine. For these students, school IS their safe place; school is a welcome break from their everyday lives.
So what do I do? What do I say to my students when they come back? I’ve found that questions and statements such as: “I’m so happy to see you,” or “Are you glad to be back?” work well. “Are you glad to be back?” allows students to tell me about their trips to Mexico, all the toys they received, or the family they spent time with. While allowing those in less than ideal situations to feel safe to say, “Yes, I’m happy to be back.” Many times they follow that statement with, “It was so boring.” Knowing their lives, I know this isn’t really the case, but rather they are happy to feel safe for 7 hours out of their day.
And it’s not just our students who don’t always have ‘good breaks’. Some of our colleagues have had to deal with situations that were less than an ideal Holiday. Remember: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle,” – Ian Maclaren.
Some students may be in foster care with a guardian who is more concerned about when the next cheque is coming in rather than the actual welfare of the young lives that are put into their care. These foster children are usually the ones that need a caring educator to show them someone does care for them as more than a pay cheque and can show them how to overcome their meager beginnings.
Well said. Thank you.
Hm…. I guess its good to be aware, but I might still ask kids this question. They might need someone to tell if their break was awful…… and hopefully they feel close enough to us to answer honestly…..
I agree we need to ask, but we need to ask the right questions. Creating relationships with our students will help guide us.
sad but true – thanks for the reminder.